Life is hard and sometimes it really knocks us down. Hard. So hard we can’t get up. We can’t crawl. All we can do is curl into the fetal position and cry. Sometimes we are so exhausted and beaten we can’t even cry. For some people it is one big thing, one traumatic event or loss or illness, that has struck the blow and for others it an endless pummeling of small and medium blows that just keep on coming until we can no longer protect ourselves from the pain and devastation.
However, we do not need to fight this battle alone. Therapy and support groups are available for major traumas and often one really good friend can make the difference for those of us who don’t quite fall into a support group category. Don’t be afraid to reach out and get help. You don’t need to go it alone. There are many resources available when you just can’t cope anymore. There are also steps you can take to self-heal – one proven strategy is writing therapy.
Writing has helped many people cope with stress, trauma, and both physical and mental challenges. Studies have shown that writing can help with mental trauma and suffering and abate physical symptoms for some long-term illnesses such as HIV/AIDS, asthma and arthritis. Suppressing negative emotions, stress, and trauma can actually be harmful to our physical as well as mental well-being by suppressing our immune function. However, writing can help us release our fears and anxieties. Even more important, writing can help us understand our pain and offers a way to learn from and move past the suffering.
James W. Pennebaker is the founder of this movement which is now extensively used for therapy throughout the world. He offers this simple strategy for beginning your journey with healing through writing:
- Develop the habit: Set aside time every day for several days to write for about 15 minutes
- Find a safe place: Write somewhere private where you will be undisturbed and you can cry without judgement
- Write for yourself: Simply freewrite. Do not worry about the rules of grammar, spelling, or punctuation, and do not fret over the right word or a specific detail. Just write continuously and let the words fall as they may
- Determine the fate of your words: Some people like to save this writing or gradually develop those words into something meaningful, but these are your words and your challenges so you can do with them as you like. If it makes you feel better to burn them, cross them out, erase them, shred them, or tear them into little pieces and toss them to the wind. It is up to you to decide what action is most beneficial for you and your healing journey
What to Write About:
- Something that you are thinking or worrying about too much
- Something that you are dreaming about
- Something that you feel is affecting your life in an unhealthy way
- Something that you have been avoiding for days, weeks, or years
Pennebaker offers the following instructions:
Over the next four days, I want you to write about your deepest emotions and thoughts about the most upsetting experience in your life. Really let go and explore your feelings and thoughts about it. In your writing, you might tie this experience to your childhood, your relationship with your parents, people you have loved or love now, or even your career. How is this experience related to who you would like to become, who you have been in the past, or who you are now?
Many people have not had a single traumatic experience but all of us have had major conflicts or stressors in our lives and you can write about them as well. You can write about the same issue every day or a series of different issues. Whatever you choose to write about, however, it is critical that you really let go and explore your very deepest emotions and thoughts.
And also this warning: Many people report that after writing, they sometimes feel somewhat sad or depressed. Like seeing a sad movie, this typically goes away in a couple of hours. If you find that you are getting extremely upset about a writing topic, simply stop writing or change topics.
I know that writing it out has helped me cope with life. Whether you are suffering from a major traumatic experience or a series of stressors, #JustWrite it out to help the healing begin.