The Cancer Times
Death and grief are simply parts of being human but they are also aspects of our humanity that we struggle with the most. Modern culture does not allow us to live with our grief because we are expected to fit it into a tiny box of rituals and then pack it away again. Also, modern capitalism carefully restricts who we are allowed to mourn (and for how long). This often means that we are ill-prepared for grief and loss and the general suffering of our humanity. In particular we struggle when we are living through one of our cancer times (when we or a loved one faces the life-changing diagnosis of cancer) the frailty of our humanity becomes more real. The scientific breakthroughs that can sustain life and health are miraculous, but also the medical machinery can drain us of our life energy.
I have been thinking about cancer a lot because I lost a dear friend to cancer in January and several other loved ones are struggling with either their own cancer times or supporting friends and family through theirs. This week’s Vibe Check podcast led me to the poetry and story of Andrea Gibson that made me weep in all the best ways and I hope will provide comfort and cleansing for all those suffering and supporting during cancer times (and other life challenges).
- In the chemo room, I wear mittens made of ice so I don’t lose my fingernails. But I took a risk today to write this down. (the original poem shared by Saeed Jones on Vibe Check)
- How the Worst Day of My Life Became the Best
- Andrea Gibson reading their “Love Letter From The Afterlife”
- Things That Don’t Suck (Andrea Gibson’s substack)
- In Memory of Andrea Gibson, We Revisit 8 of Their Life-Affirming Poems
One of the essential lessons that my friend’s death (and life) taught me is that life is about the love you let into your life and I am so glad that I was able to celebrate that love with her before she died. Too often we are so busy putting our heads down as we trudge through life we don’t spend enough time laughing together or talking about what matters to us (big and small). While the tuition was too high for that lesson and the many others I learned, including the simple reminder that there are no guarantees in life, I do find comfort and inspiration in Andrea Gibson’s poetry and the connections with those lessons.
Image by Elżbieta Michta from Pixabay
