Milestones
I am turning 60 years old this week. Part of me desires no fuss and bother. I’ve long gotten over any excitement about birthdays in general and mine in specific. And yet…a dear friend never made it to her 60th birthday and another lost her battle with cancer only months after reaching that milestone so I should at least recognize this milestone. I also should recognize the milestone of retiring from Morehead State University after 25 years of service. I have friends and peers who died before reaching their own retirement and I am a dying breed. How many of my generation will spend 25 years working for the same employer? How many of my son’s will even have that opportunity?
Most of all I should take this time to reflect and to remember as well as to celebrate these gifts and so many others I have received. The loss of my friends and peers have taught me that we are not owed anything. We are not owed a long successful marriage (just celebrated 36 years) or a happy successful child (25 years old, completing his MBA, in a committed relationship with a woman I also love). We are not owed work that satisfies us and brought us much joy (although I would argue a good country does in fact owe us satisfactory and sustainable work but of course life itself does not).
But I am resistant to shoulds. I really hate when people should all over me. Just had a spat with my husband caused by a should. So I’m not currently planning a big retirement/birthday party (although I do have two events on the books) and so I have just now decided that I’m not going to focus on the day or even the month (because May is a terrible time to squeeze in a celebration of any sort). Also, I’m not much of a party person. So just now I made the executive decision that I’m going to dedicate this summer to celebrating these milestones and gathering more data about my third act. If nothing else my practice retirement taught me to ease into these big changes.
What milestones are you experiencing? Which milestones do you wish you celebrated more at the time (or regret celebrating)? What shoulds are on your mind? And for further inspiration: Ms. Schadenfreude’s Anti-Valedictory – what are your favorite milestone poems?
